But everyone else is doing almost as horribly as I am. The leading entry in the Freshman Fifteen Bowl Mania group is 2 for 6. Maybe things will start to normalize this week.
Before racing through the January bowls (and I do mean racing through - with Christmas and the busiest week of work of the year upcoming - RADIATE09! - I don't have the requisite 2-3 hours to put together a decent post), here's my annual look at the top 5 bowl names. Will any manage to top the old Poulan/WeedEater Independence Bowl as the greatest bowl name of all time?
1. St. Petersburg Bowl presented by Beef 'O' Brady's
In a word, awesome. Captures the essence of tiny bowls: random company most people have never heard of, a desperate grab at publicity and income, and an awkward and moderately uncomfortable sounding name. In watching a few minutes of this game I learned that Beef 'O' Brady's is some sort of sports grill, a la Buffalo Wild Wings or Damon's. I also learned that it's affectionately known by its employees and clientele as "Beef's". That may be a slight improvement over the cumbersome and unappetizing title of "Beef 'O' Brady's", but it still sounds like either the nickname of a high school wrestler or the name of a bar from a straight-to-video college good-times movie. And I learned that while they had enough money to toss around to earn the right to tack their name on a bowl game, they didn't save enough to make a halfway decent commercial to accompany the game. Their commercial was an awkward hybrid of an Applebee's and Buffalo Wild Wings ad. I'm sure Beef 'O' Brady's is a perfectly fine place to get some man food and watch a game, but their whole bowl game hosting effort appeared to be a poorly thrown together customer grab. They do win the award for the best bowl name though!
2. Papajohns.com Bowl
Why the dot com? Why not simply the Papa John's Bowl? I know they've put some effort into the whole "order your pizza online" marketing strategy, but does it really warrant the name of a college bowl game? So many questions, so few answers.
3. Maaco Bowl Las Vegas
Why not the Maaco Las Vegas Bowl? Why would they insist on putting together a phrase that doesn't even come close to meeting English grammatical rules? At least throw a comma in there: Maaco Bowl, Las Vegas. This is probably the strangest name of them all. Maybe the Las Vegas tourism bureau just wanted to make sure the name stuck out and garnered just a little bit more publicity.
4. AdvoCare V100 Independence Bowl
Multiple choice quiz: What is AdvoCare V100?
A) A type of oil filter
B) Medical Insurance
C) A multivitamin
D) The first ever 6-blade razor
Answer: C. You learned it here first. I'm almost positive of it.
5. San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl
I love this one for the fact that it has such a specific marketing audience: residents of San Diego County, California. Yet the company decided that paying for the naming rights of a national bowl game would be worth the money. How is that possible?
And now, on to what will likely amount to terrible picks:
21. Outback Bowl, Northwestern vs. Auburn
This is probably a huge mistake, to pick a Big Ten team to beat an SEC team, but Northwestern has flown under the radar all year and quietly have a good football team. Pat Fitzgerald is as solid a coach as you'll find. And Auburn was nothing special this year. Since upsets and the unexpected have already graced us with their presence, why not?
Northwestern 29, Auburn 24 CL: 7
22. Konica Minolta Gator Bowl, West Virginia vs. Florida State
Bobby Bowden undoubtedly is one of the greatest coaches of all time. He's won with class, humor, humility, and innovation; and he's shown loyalty to both players and school through his years at Florida State. As a Christian he's committed to something much higher than football, and his love of his players and care about their development supersedes his desire to win. He'll be missed in the world of college football after his retirement. But in no way does his leaving mean that the Seminoles deserve a New Year's Day Bowl invite. This was a team who was lucky to get to .500 and be invited at all! The matchup with West Virginia is poetic, as Bowden spent several years in Morgantown before heading south, but it's contrived and undeserving. And likely will net Bowden a loss in his final game. Why not just accept a bid to a lesser bowl and let Bobby go out on a high note?
West Virginia 31, Florida State 20 CL: 10
23. Capital One Bowl, LSU vs. Penn State
For the first time in the 2 year history of this blog, I'm picking against my alma mater. It stings, but I've got to go with head over heart. This does not in any way change my rooting allegiance or my passion as a Penn Stater, it's just a pick. Here's why I'm going this way: Darryl Clark's performance against top-level defenses. Ohio State and Iowa owned him this year, and USC had their way in the Rose Bowl last year. It would be difficult to pick against that trend. Clark has has a stellar Nittany Lion career, but he's still just not quite there when it comes to playing well and defeating strong defenses. Turnovers kill him. Penn State's defense will keep the game close, and could win it for the Lions, but in the end, I'm sad to say that Clark's tendency to turn the ball over will decide the outcome.
LSU 16, Penn State 10 CL: 15
24. Rose Bowl Game presented by Citi, Ohio State vs. Oregon
Oregon became a juggernaut after the debacle in Idaho on the first night of the season, and though Ohio State's defense is stout, it's hard to imagine them completely shutting down Oregon's potent running attack. If they stack the line, Jeremiah Masoli can beat them over the top. And Terrelle Pryor gets to spend all afternoon dreaming about what it would have been like for him to be at the helm of the Duck offense.
Oregon 24, Ohio State 21 CL: 12
25. Allstate Sugar Bowl, Florida vs. Cincinnati
My my, the coaching storylines that surround this one! Just a few hours ago Urban Meyer announced that the Sugar Bowl would be his last game as the Florida coach, citing health reasons and a decision to focus more on his faith and family. It's a shocking decision to be sure, and will most likely shake up the college football coaching tree for the next month. How it will affect the Florida team going into the Sugar Bowl remains to be seen, but my assumption is that Tim Tebow, ardent Meyer supporter and loyalist, will give his all to see Meyer take home a win in his last game. Meanwhile, Cincinnati players and fans are still smarting from the sudden and selfish departure of Brian Kelly to Notre Dame. Cincy will use the game to show that they're not the also-ran that Kelly treated them as, mostly to Kelly himself. But the Bearcats offense hasn't faced anything like the Florida defense all year.
Florida 31, Cincinnati 21 CL: 32
26. International Bowl, South Florida vs. Northern Illinois
How will South Florida play north of the border? They've been inconsistent, but talented, and should beat a mid-level MAC team without much trouble. But the gap between what should happen and what has happened has been a wide one thus far this bowl season.
South Florida 35, Northern Illinois 24 CL: 8
27. Papajohns.com Bowl, South Carolina vs. Connecticut
Going with the upset here, as Randy Edsall and UConn wrap up a season of rebound against another Gamecock squad that's fallen short of it's expected mark.
Connecticut 20, South Carolina 18 CL: 17
28. AT&T Cotton Bowl, Oklahoma State vs. Mississippi
Oklahoma State still hasn't beaten anyone of note this year, and that won't change when they meet Ole Miss in Dallas.
Mississippi 34, Oklahoma State 28 CL: 18
29. AutoZone Liberty Bowl, East Carolina vs. Arkansas
Arkansas' potent offense outscores solid C-USA champ and heady QB Patrick Pinkney.
Arkansas 45, East Carolina 35 CL: 23
30. Valero Alamo Bowl, Michigan State vs. Texas Tech
Texas Tech has quietly put together another good season for coach Mike Leach, and will close with 9 wins after beating disappointing Michigan State.
Texas Tech 33, Michigan State 17 CL: 29
31. Tostitos Fiesta Bowl, Boise State vs. TCU
The most polarizing bowl - some love the matchup, some hate it and call it a cop out decision for the BCS to put these two non-BCS conference competitors together. But the Fiesta Bowl, not the BCS committee, ultimately made the choice, so they obviously felt it was a good enough matchup to throw their money behind it. TCU gets their time in the sun as their defense snuffs out Kellen Moore and the Bronco offense. But don't worry, Boise will be back and better next year. So might TCU.
TCU 30, Boise State 23 CL: 1
32. FedEx Orange Bowl, Georgia Tech vs. Iowa
Ricky Stanzi will be back for Iowa, but the game will be decided on the other side of the football. Can the Iowa defense stop the option? The result hinges there.
Georgia Tech 27, Iowa 21 CL: 14
33. GMAC Bowl, Central Michigan vs. Troy
This game has produced some wild results through the years, and could provide another very entertaining game. Troy has competed with some very good teams through the years (Ohio State, LSU last year), and though that's not been the case this season, the close to home cookin could give the Trojans the extra effort they need to push past a good Central Michigan team.
Troy 31, Central Michigan 27 CL: 3
Next: a week away, then a good, hard look at the national championship game, to be posted the night before. Until then, Happy New Year!
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